An Izze Can

Izze can

1) A perfect cylinder, slightly taller than a Coke can but much thinner.

The producers of the beverage went for a more original design to hide their true intentions: the can is sleek and pretty to look at, but by my estimation it only holds about 80% the volume of liquid as a regular soda can.

2) "Sparkling Clementine," the tagline promises.

A rather bold boast. "I taste so good I put regular Orange to shame," the can says. "I sparkle like a beauty pageant winner. Clementine. Have you even heard of it, you poor clod? Exotic, we know."

3) It is as cold as ice. Water droplets cling to the side and slowly drip down.

It looks delicious, so delicious. Refrigerated Izze on a hot summer day, a better thirst quencher I cannot imagine. How daring it would be to lick the condensed water droplets along its surface, tongue darting out to catch a single bead of water on its tip. Simply holding the can makes you feel refreshed.

4) The logo is simple, but very hard to describe. It looks like a six-petaled flower. Each petal is smooth wedge, perfectly equidistant from each other.

Logos are important things. I know some companies spend tons of money on such things; Pepsi, for example, spent several million of their red-and-blue logo. I wonder how much Izze spent on theirs.

5) You know that fizzy taste sodas have? The malty, slightly numbing taste? It's the taste of carbonate, and Izze tastes like that, only five times more fizzy, five times more malty, five times more numbing. Its sweetness is subtle, like the makers added fruit juice as an afterthought. The sweetness complements the fizziness, not the other way around.

It holds up to its boast. I drink five of these things every day, and writing this makes me want to pop up another.